Donald Trump has been elected President by the people through the Electoral College of the United States.
This was a crushing surprise. Not because I am a naive white person who is surprised by our inherently racist society. Not because I was blind to the sexism rampant in our population. It's purely because I looked at the polls, and trusted them, and thought, "there's no way we will elect that buffoon. He can't even form a coherent sentence."
And I was wrong.
And I watched the map turn redder with each passing minute.
And I cried. I cried like I haven't cried in years, while my husband held me and told me we'll be ok.
The next morning I checked to see if anything had changed. And I saw that our House and Senate were drenched in red.
And I cried again.
I felt broken, and deceived, and angry, and hateful towards those who would vote for him, and those who voted for the minor party candidates, and the asshole Bernie bros who withheld their vote because their privilege allowed them to do so. I was angry at the people who hold the Second Amendment in a higher standing than the human beings who live in this country. The same Second Amendment that isn't going anywhere, no matter who is in office.
I feel real hurt and fear, and my tears are valid, even if they do not belong in some spaces. I don't just cry for people of color, immigrants, LGBTQ, and those with disabilities. I cry for white women, survivors of sexual violence, the lower and middle classes, our Supreme Court, those with pre-existing conditions in need of healthcare, and my daughter. I cry because my daughter won't be born under the first female President of the United States. That from her birth, I can say "You can do that" but I have no proof. I've been hearing it my whole life, but we still haven't seen it yet.
I cry because, leaving the pussy grabbing aside, a man who reduces women to numbers and calls us inconvenient for business for having babies has been elected to the highest office in the "free world". And I find that very hard to swallow after the empowerment of the Obama Presidency.
Don't tell me to not be afraid. Don't correct me. These are my feelings for a multitude of reasons and I am too vulnerable and angry to be told by another man that I need to check myself.
While feeling validated in my anger and feelings toward those who support Trump, I also understand that this is not a homogenous group of explicitly racist, sexist, xenophobes. Many ignored his comments, and don't believe he will follow through on the more horrific ideas. They believe that he was just playing the game and making waves. Their privilege allows them to believe that. Implicit bias and white privilege make it difficult to see what doesn't affect us. People don't want to hear that they are racist, or simply deny that racism is an issue, because they don't have an understanding of what "racism" means. They are not all hateful people, though many are. They are simply ignorant of the experiences and dialogue that are more pronounced in liberal circles.
I wrote a Facebook post that wasn't well thought out but expressed my pain. I read the heart-wrenching posts from friends who are worried their marriages may become unrecognized by the federal government, from friends who fear deportation and discrimination for themselves and their families, from friends who feel real fear for the future of our country and our environment. I deactivated Facebook. I ignored the news and the commentary. I buried myself under the covers with two purring kittens, ignored my ringing phone, and sobbed until I fell into a depressed sleep for a few hours.
And then I got up and I went back to the news.
I read about the protests and while I agree with the sentiment, and know that he is not "my" President, as so many Republicans have been decrying for the past eight years, the ideas of protesting the very system our democracy is built upon makes me uneasy.
Yes, Hillary won the popular vote. But she won the popular vote in an Electoral College election. This is not a true representation of a popular vote. People are disillusioned. If you're in a red state, you might not feel your tiny blue dot matters and stay home. Same goes for the other way around. It's an unprovable claim to say Hillary Clinton would have definitely won had this been an election by popular vote. It is entirely possible we would have been even more disappointed.
Yes, I agree that the Electoral College is antiquated and the system needs to be changed, but I also believe that we need to accept what has passed, and immediately start working our asses off to protect those people and rights that we hold dear.
With a newborn on the way literally any day now and a lot of unknowns in my immediate future, I am making my voice heard through donations to Planned Parenthood and the Southern Poverty Law Center.
Once things calm down for me, I plan to make change through volunteerism.
If you are looking for ways to make a difference, here are a few good resources I ran across yesterday:
http://jezebel.com/a-list-of-pro-women-pro-immigrant-pro-earth-anti-big-1788752078?
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/if-youre-overwhelmed-by-the-election-heres-what-you-can-do-now_us_5822c7d0e4b0e80b02cdf133
And finally, just because we will soon have an unhinged buffoon in the Oval Office, that does not mean we are forced to stand by and watch him dismantle our democratic government. Here is a guide for what to pay attention to. What to call out. And to remember that congressional Republicans have already initiated a coup against one branch of government (SCOTUS), and our safeguards are weak:
http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/politics/2016/11/how_to_preserve_the_ideals_of_liberal_democracy_in_the_face_of_a_trump_presidency.html
And now that I have said my piece, I'm going to focus on cat videos and Lady Gaga's latest album for a few weeks. I just don't have the strength to do anything else right now.
This was a crushing surprise. Not because I am a naive white person who is surprised by our inherently racist society. Not because I was blind to the sexism rampant in our population. It's purely because I looked at the polls, and trusted them, and thought, "there's no way we will elect that buffoon. He can't even form a coherent sentence."
And I was wrong.
And I watched the map turn redder with each passing minute.
And I cried. I cried like I haven't cried in years, while my husband held me and told me we'll be ok.
The next morning I checked to see if anything had changed. And I saw that our House and Senate were drenched in red.
And I cried again.
I felt broken, and deceived, and angry, and hateful towards those who would vote for him, and those who voted for the minor party candidates, and the asshole Bernie bros who withheld their vote because their privilege allowed them to do so. I was angry at the people who hold the Second Amendment in a higher standing than the human beings who live in this country. The same Second Amendment that isn't going anywhere, no matter who is in office.
I feel real hurt and fear, and my tears are valid, even if they do not belong in some spaces. I don't just cry for people of color, immigrants, LGBTQ, and those with disabilities. I cry for white women, survivors of sexual violence, the lower and middle classes, our Supreme Court, those with pre-existing conditions in need of healthcare, and my daughter. I cry because my daughter won't be born under the first female President of the United States. That from her birth, I can say "You can do that" but I have no proof. I've been hearing it my whole life, but we still haven't seen it yet.
I cry because, leaving the pussy grabbing aside, a man who reduces women to numbers and calls us inconvenient for business for having babies has been elected to the highest office in the "free world". And I find that very hard to swallow after the empowerment of the Obama Presidency.
Don't tell me to not be afraid. Don't correct me. These are my feelings for a multitude of reasons and I am too vulnerable and angry to be told by another man that I need to check myself.
I wrote a Facebook post that wasn't well thought out but expressed my pain. I read the heart-wrenching posts from friends who are worried their marriages may become unrecognized by the federal government, from friends who fear deportation and discrimination for themselves and their families, from friends who feel real fear for the future of our country and our environment. I deactivated Facebook. I ignored the news and the commentary. I buried myself under the covers with two purring kittens, ignored my ringing phone, and sobbed until I fell into a depressed sleep for a few hours.
And then I got up and I went back to the news.
I read about the protests and while I agree with the sentiment, and know that he is not "my" President, as so many Republicans have been decrying for the past eight years, the ideas of protesting the very system our democracy is built upon makes me uneasy.
Yes, Hillary won the popular vote. But she won the popular vote in an Electoral College election. This is not a true representation of a popular vote. People are disillusioned. If you're in a red state, you might not feel your tiny blue dot matters and stay home. Same goes for the other way around. It's an unprovable claim to say Hillary Clinton would have definitely won had this been an election by popular vote. It is entirely possible we would have been even more disappointed.
Yes, I agree that the Electoral College is antiquated and the system needs to be changed, but I also believe that we need to accept what has passed, and immediately start working our asses off to protect those people and rights that we hold dear.
With a newborn on the way literally any day now and a lot of unknowns in my immediate future, I am making my voice heard through donations to Planned Parenthood and the Southern Poverty Law Center.
Once things calm down for me, I plan to make change through volunteerism.
If you are looking for ways to make a difference, here are a few good resources I ran across yesterday:
http://jezebel.com/a-list-of-pro-women-pro-immigrant-pro-earth-anti-big-1788752078?
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/if-youre-overwhelmed-by-the-election-heres-what-you-can-do-now_us_5822c7d0e4b0e80b02cdf133
And finally, just because we will soon have an unhinged buffoon in the Oval Office, that does not mean we are forced to stand by and watch him dismantle our democratic government. Here is a guide for what to pay attention to. What to call out. And to remember that congressional Republicans have already initiated a coup against one branch of government (SCOTUS), and our safeguards are weak:
http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/politics/2016/11/how_to_preserve_the_ideals_of_liberal_democracy_in_the_face_of_a_trump_presidency.html
And now that I have said my piece, I'm going to focus on cat videos and Lady Gaga's latest album for a few weeks. I just don't have the strength to do anything else right now.
